From Dad: Lessons on Poop

Before becoming a parent, I noticed a common trend among new parents – they love to talk about poop! After hearing conversation after conversation about poop, I was beginning to question their sanity. I mean, what mid-to-upper twenty year old spends most of their time talking about poop?!

These doubts I had about the sanity of a new parent were present until a week ago – the exact time I had of child of my own. After only one week of observing and caring for my child, I realized that poop is your main topic of conversation because you have little else to think about when you change up to 22 diapers a day (sometimes 3 diapers in 15 minutes)!

To continue the proud tradition of new parents, I want to talk for a few minutes about poop. Well, the lessons I have learned concerning this lovely topic.

Lesson #1: If your child doesn’t poop in 24 hours, don’t worry about the health of your child. 

He/she is fine. What you need to spend your time worrying about is the floodgate that is going to open when that period is over. I promise you, it will come. I made this mistake while we were still in the hospital. I was worried. I even began asking nurses if this was normal. Then it happened...my first encounter with the blowout! There was poop everywhere! The sheets. My hands. Her clothes. My clothes. Even my glasses somehow managed to get poop smeared on them! Rather than freak out about your child not soiling his/her diaper, enjoy the calm before the storm or take the time to mentally prepare yourself for what is about to happen.

Lesson #2: Don’t get too close while changing a diaper. 

Even if you think you have the routine figured out, don’t risk it.  I learned this lesson the other night. I started changing the diaper with “the routine”: open diaper, close diaper, listen for bathroom noises. I thought that my status was quickly bumped to pro as I accomplished this task to perfection! Then I was reminded that even pros are thrown curveballs.  I opened the diaper and then...BAM! A stream that would put Old Faithful to shame flowed forth from my precious, little child. Luckily my cat-like reflexes are still intact at 2 AM (a fact that I neither knew nor tested before this). Thankfully Drea was already awake to help me clean up the mess – I would have been overwhelmed otherwise.

Lesson #3: Just because you have a girl doesn’t mean geyser pee isn’t possible. 

Referring to Lesson 2, I have a little girl and that is what happened.

Lesson #4: You probably won’t understand this post, or may be grossed out by it, unless you have a child of your own. 

I know I was. Luckily, the love you have for your child quickly outweighs any disgusting circumstance you are thrown into. Love, and the fact that you will get to repay your child someday when they have to change your diaper!

I love you Addy and I will always be there to change your diaper, no matter how messy it gets.

-Dad

Wow.

I cannot believe we've had this little cutie in our care for over a week now.

We've learned a lot:

1. We have the most amazing friends and family in the world.
I knew they were great people...but I was still blown away by the kindness and generosity shown to us.  We became responsible for feeding ourselves again (meaning, out of the hospital) starting on Friday, 9/15.  Since then, we have not had to actually make one single meal ourselves.  With the exception of cereal for breakfast, everything we've eaten (even snacks) has been prepped and/or delivered by someone awesome.  PLUS a couple gift cards we've received to go towards a quick shopping trip or take-out meal.
Thank you all - it has meant so much to us!
Really.
I love to cook.  But, if I had to cook during this last week and a half, I would have gotten so much less sleep...and I'm positive I would have eventually burned the place down, due to forgetting to turn the stove off.  There is no way I would be feeling as good and semi-rested as I do right now without all of your help.  You rock.  :)

2. This kid is good, quality entertainment.
She squeaks, she grunts, she belches like a sailor, and she makes faces that have us cracking up constantly.
She is just so cute.  I could watch her for hours.

3. This kid is a pain.
If she gets even the slightest bit cold, she melts down.  Check her diaper...the second the air hits she cries.  I'm talking, scream-bloody-murder when a wipe barely grazes her skin.  We have to work on that.
She went through 22 diapers yesterday.  I wish I were exaggerating.

4. This kid is the love of my life.
I was not prepared for this.  I knew I would love my daughter, no matter what...it's what parents do, right?  But, I was not ready for how wholly I would love her.  How every time she cried, I would feel so sorry for not being able to figure out how to make everything better.

5. Before she was born, we had more free time than we realized.
We were very busy people: working full-time jobs, visiting friends and family, playing trivia at City Limits with friends once or twice a week, watching 30 Rock while leisurely enjoying the latest dinner I'd concocted...very busy indeed.
Ha.
I barely have time to shut the box of Honey Nut Cheerios before I toss it back in the cupboard.
The main thought on my mind at all times is: when did she eat last?  I am living my life in 3 hour increments.
My 'free time' (i.e. when Addy's sleeping) goes to either doing the dishes, prepping bottles, straightening up my bed/living room for visitors, or trying to catch a precious hour of sleep myself.

Yes, we've learned a lot already...and we've only just begun!

One Week Old

She's Here!

Being a day past our due date, this morning we had a series of tests scheduled.  I got strapped to a machine that tracked Addy's heartbeat along with my contractions, or lack thereof.  Then, we got another ultrasound!  Unfortunately, the coolest part of this one was getting to see a shot of her foot.  They were mostly just looking out for any problems.

Well, there was one: my amniotic fluid was low.  Nothing too scary, but low enough for the doctor to schedule a 2pm induction.

...

Wow, how time has flown!  I started writing this post on 9/10 from my hospital bed after being admitted for my induction!  So, a quick update on the last few days to get us all up to speed:

Monday
By 3pm I had been given some medication to start my contractions.  It worked.  It worked so well that they didn't need to give me more than one dose, and I didn't need any pitocin or any other drugs to get things underway.  I have to wonder if Addy was planning on coming so soon anyways!

Tuesday
After 13 hours of labor (I'll spare you the details on how mind-blowingly painful the contractions were, the blood & guts of it all, and anything related to tearing and stitches) and only about 15 minutes of pushing, Adelyn Lorraine arrived!  She was a grayish, slimy, little alien at first...but, no worries, once they cleaned her up she looked a whole lot cuter.

Wednesday
We had gotten about 5 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours by the time Wednesday morning rolls around.  We spent all day (and all day Thursday) in a whirlwind of feedings, diapers, and nurses.  We started getting to know Addy.  Not only is she adorable, but she'll most likely also be the smartest kid to ever live.

Thursday
We got home around 8pm.  One adventure complete; a better one just beginning.
Aw.

Getting close...

Due date is 4 days away!  I am so very excited.

Yesterday we had our 39 week check-up.  In case anyone cares, I am ONE WHOLE CENTIMETER dilated!!!  Woohoo - now that's progress!

The doctor offered to 'sweep my membranes' (in my opinion, just a fancy way of saying 'stick my arm up you and prod your cervix') which I declined with a smile. 
Then she tried to schedule an induction exactly one week after the due date, which I also declined.
Then she said with a laugh, "Well, you must just loooove being pregnant!" 
I laughed back and said, "Actually, I've hated nearly every minute of it."

...but that's not really true.  In reality, I'd guess I've hated about 65% of it.  You know, the puking, nauseous, heartburn-y, painful, swollen, waddling, extremely uncomfortable part of it. 
But I have definitely loved some parts of it too.

I have LOVED feeling Addy kick, roll around, strech out...loved watching my belly swing around wildly in all directions as she tries to get comfy...loved knowing that soon, soon I'll have a little person out here in the world to take care of.

See, I know myself too well to entertain any of this sweeping, inducing business.  I know that I am, without a doubt, the most ridiculously impatient person alive.  I mean, I want to give people their Christmas presents as soon as I have them wrapped.  Regardless of if it's December yet.

So make no mistake, Doctor.  I want this kid here NOW.  But maybe, maybe this isn't something to be rushed. 

Maybe all this little girl wants is to come into this world on her own time.  Maybe she's nothing like me.  Maybe she loves suspense and drawing out the inevitable.  Maybe she's getting a kick out of keeping us waiting.  Maybe she's not planning on coming out...not until the whole world is shouting, "You haven't had that kid yet?" at her poor, enormous mother.