Two Months, Maternity Leave, and Back to Work

Wow.  That is all I can say...wow.  Wowowow.

My nine weeks on maternity leave flew by - I can't believe I am on my third day back to work already.

Our two month photo shoot went well. She finally fits in this sleeper! At last we can expand her wardrobe to include all her adorable 0-3 months outfits. Addy is going to be one stylish little girl soon!

Being a 'stay-at-home-mom' for nine weeks was one of the most difficult, lonely, boring, fun, happy, and rewarding chapters in my life.  This kid is WORK...much moreso than I anticipated.

I thought that I would feel one of two ways once my maternity leave ended: so excited to go back to work OR so sad that I had to leave her at daycare (maybe even so sad that I would quit my job).  I never thought that I would feel both simultaneously, and yet here I am...talking to vendors and working on complicated projects, all while wistfully counting the hours until I get to see her little face again.

I realized yesterday that I'll maybe get two good hours a day with her during the workweek.  This, to be honest, sucks big time.  An hour of smiles and giving her a bottle when she wakes up, and then another hour of quality time when we get home before she starts getting tired and cranky.
Two hours?!  What the heck?!  Isn't this MY kid?  Oy.

But that's what we do I guess...we let other people raise our kids so that we can better provide for them.  The day Addy calls one of the daycare workers 'Mom' I am going to flip my lid.

Awwww

Check out these photos!  Doesn't she look exactly like her dad?

Addy at one month - Tim at birth

Addy at one month - Tim at four months

One Month

First of all, let me just say that the 'One Month Photo Shoot' was a little rough.  She is a lot more squirmy than she was three weeks ago!  After over 20 shots, this is the best we've got.

This past month has been a whirlwind.  Among other things, Addy has gone to her first sporting event (an LCS soccer game), her first restaurant (City Limits), has had the pleasure of meeting some of her great-grandparents, and last night got to visit to her best friend, Sydney.

There have been more, less fun firsts as well: her first blowout, her first two-hour screaming session, etc.  It's a good thing the adorable, fun times are so much more memorable.

Leaving you with the best picture we've caught of Addy so far - smiling in her sleep.

Many Faces

The Cute:

The Cry:

The Crazy:

Due to low camera battery and the unruly behavior of the model, the rest of the shoot had to be postponed.

*Not pictured: The Pooping, The Confused, and The "Mom, is MY hair going to be that out of control?!"

From Dad: Lessons on Poop

Before becoming a parent, I noticed a common trend among new parents – they love to talk about poop! After hearing conversation after conversation about poop, I was beginning to question their sanity. I mean, what mid-to-upper twenty year old spends most of their time talking about poop?!

These doubts I had about the sanity of a new parent were present until a week ago – the exact time I had of child of my own. After only one week of observing and caring for my child, I realized that poop is your main topic of conversation because you have little else to think about when you change up to 22 diapers a day (sometimes 3 diapers in 15 minutes)!

To continue the proud tradition of new parents, I want to talk for a few minutes about poop. Well, the lessons I have learned concerning this lovely topic.

Lesson #1: If your child doesn’t poop in 24 hours, don’t worry about the health of your child. 

He/she is fine. What you need to spend your time worrying about is the floodgate that is going to open when that period is over. I promise you, it will come. I made this mistake while we were still in the hospital. I was worried. I even began asking nurses if this was normal. Then it happened...my first encounter with the blowout! There was poop everywhere! The sheets. My hands. Her clothes. My clothes. Even my glasses somehow managed to get poop smeared on them! Rather than freak out about your child not soiling his/her diaper, enjoy the calm before the storm or take the time to mentally prepare yourself for what is about to happen.

Lesson #2: Don’t get too close while changing a diaper. 

Even if you think you have the routine figured out, don’t risk it.  I learned this lesson the other night. I started changing the diaper with “the routine”: open diaper, close diaper, listen for bathroom noises. I thought that my status was quickly bumped to pro as I accomplished this task to perfection! Then I was reminded that even pros are thrown curveballs.  I opened the diaper and then...BAM! A stream that would put Old Faithful to shame flowed forth from my precious, little child. Luckily my cat-like reflexes are still intact at 2 AM (a fact that I neither knew nor tested before this). Thankfully Drea was already awake to help me clean up the mess – I would have been overwhelmed otherwise.

Lesson #3: Just because you have a girl doesn’t mean geyser pee isn’t possible. 

Referring to Lesson 2, I have a little girl and that is what happened.

Lesson #4: You probably won’t understand this post, or may be grossed out by it, unless you have a child of your own. 

I know I was. Luckily, the love you have for your child quickly outweighs any disgusting circumstance you are thrown into. Love, and the fact that you will get to repay your child someday when they have to change your diaper!

I love you Addy and I will always be there to change your diaper, no matter how messy it gets.

-Dad

Wow.

I cannot believe we've had this little cutie in our care for over a week now.

We've learned a lot:

1. We have the most amazing friends and family in the world.
I knew they were great people...but I was still blown away by the kindness and generosity shown to us.  We became responsible for feeding ourselves again (meaning, out of the hospital) starting on Friday, 9/15.  Since then, we have not had to actually make one single meal ourselves.  With the exception of cereal for breakfast, everything we've eaten (even snacks) has been prepped and/or delivered by someone awesome.  PLUS a couple gift cards we've received to go towards a quick shopping trip or take-out meal.
Thank you all - it has meant so much to us!
Really.
I love to cook.  But, if I had to cook during this last week and a half, I would have gotten so much less sleep...and I'm positive I would have eventually burned the place down, due to forgetting to turn the stove off.  There is no way I would be feeling as good and semi-rested as I do right now without all of your help.  You rock.  :)

2. This kid is good, quality entertainment.
She squeaks, she grunts, she belches like a sailor, and she makes faces that have us cracking up constantly.
She is just so cute.  I could watch her for hours.

3. This kid is a pain.
If she gets even the slightest bit cold, she melts down.  Check her diaper...the second the air hits she cries.  I'm talking, scream-bloody-murder when a wipe barely grazes her skin.  We have to work on that.
She went through 22 diapers yesterday.  I wish I were exaggerating.

4. This kid is the love of my life.
I was not prepared for this.  I knew I would love my daughter, no matter what...it's what parents do, right?  But, I was not ready for how wholly I would love her.  How every time she cried, I would feel so sorry for not being able to figure out how to make everything better.

5. Before she was born, we had more free time than we realized.
We were very busy people: working full-time jobs, visiting friends and family, playing trivia at City Limits with friends once or twice a week, watching 30 Rock while leisurely enjoying the latest dinner I'd concocted...very busy indeed.
Ha.
I barely have time to shut the box of Honey Nut Cheerios before I toss it back in the cupboard.
The main thought on my mind at all times is: when did she eat last?  I am living my life in 3 hour increments.
My 'free time' (i.e. when Addy's sleeping) goes to either doing the dishes, prepping bottles, straightening up my bed/living room for visitors, or trying to catch a precious hour of sleep myself.

Yes, we've learned a lot already...and we've only just begun!

One Week Old

She's Here!

Being a day past our due date, this morning we had a series of tests scheduled.  I got strapped to a machine that tracked Addy's heartbeat along with my contractions, or lack thereof.  Then, we got another ultrasound!  Unfortunately, the coolest part of this one was getting to see a shot of her foot.  They were mostly just looking out for any problems.

Well, there was one: my amniotic fluid was low.  Nothing too scary, but low enough for the doctor to schedule a 2pm induction.

...

Wow, how time has flown!  I started writing this post on 9/10 from my hospital bed after being admitted for my induction!  So, a quick update on the last few days to get us all up to speed:

Monday
By 3pm I had been given some medication to start my contractions.  It worked.  It worked so well that they didn't need to give me more than one dose, and I didn't need any pitocin or any other drugs to get things underway.  I have to wonder if Addy was planning on coming so soon anyways!

Tuesday
After 13 hours of labor (I'll spare you the details on how mind-blowingly painful the contractions were, the blood & guts of it all, and anything related to tearing and stitches) and only about 15 minutes of pushing, Adelyn Lorraine arrived!  She was a grayish, slimy, little alien at first...but, no worries, once they cleaned her up she looked a whole lot cuter.

Wednesday
We had gotten about 5 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours by the time Wednesday morning rolls around.  We spent all day (and all day Thursday) in a whirlwind of feedings, diapers, and nurses.  We started getting to know Addy.  Not only is she adorable, but she'll most likely also be the smartest kid to ever live.

Thursday
We got home around 8pm.  One adventure complete; a better one just beginning.
Aw.

Getting close...

Due date is 4 days away!  I am so very excited.

Yesterday we had our 39 week check-up.  In case anyone cares, I am ONE WHOLE CENTIMETER dilated!!!  Woohoo - now that's progress!

The doctor offered to 'sweep my membranes' (in my opinion, just a fancy way of saying 'stick my arm up you and prod your cervix') which I declined with a smile. 
Then she tried to schedule an induction exactly one week after the due date, which I also declined.
Then she said with a laugh, "Well, you must just loooove being pregnant!" 
I laughed back and said, "Actually, I've hated nearly every minute of it."

...but that's not really true.  In reality, I'd guess I've hated about 65% of it.  You know, the puking, nauseous, heartburn-y, painful, swollen, waddling, extremely uncomfortable part of it. 
But I have definitely loved some parts of it too.

I have LOVED feeling Addy kick, roll around, strech out...loved watching my belly swing around wildly in all directions as she tries to get comfy...loved knowing that soon, soon I'll have a little person out here in the world to take care of.

See, I know myself too well to entertain any of this sweeping, inducing business.  I know that I am, without a doubt, the most ridiculously impatient person alive.  I mean, I want to give people their Christmas presents as soon as I have them wrapped.  Regardless of if it's December yet.

So make no mistake, Doctor.  I want this kid here NOW.  But maybe, maybe this isn't something to be rushed. 

Maybe all this little girl wants is to come into this world on her own time.  Maybe she's nothing like me.  Maybe she loves suspense and drawing out the inevitable.  Maybe she's getting a kick out of keeping us waiting.  Maybe she's not planning on coming out...not until the whole world is shouting, "You haven't had that kid yet?" at her poor, enormous mother.

Fun times ahead

12 days left until the due date, and I am starting to feel READY!

Not all that ready mentally or emotionally, mind you, just ready physically.
Who would have thought that having a kid hanging out in your uterus would be so uncomfortable?  Ok, so maybe it sounds obvious...but it's been suprising to find out how much she can actually hurt me.

Yesterday was our 38 week checkup.  While the nurse was trying to find her heartbeat, Addy kept punching the dopplar away.  Hard.  Like, 'get that blasted thing away from me, I'm trying to sleep' hard.  It was so great, both the nurse and I couldn't stop laughing. 

This kid is already such a stinker.  :)

Any Day Now

The time is drawing near. 
17 days from now is Addy's due date...so really, it could be any day now.  Eeeeeeek!

I've been thinking a lot about work lately.  Things like: will I want to come back after maternity leave?  I'm sure that I will come back, but will I want to?  Maybe.  Maybe I'll be so happy to come back to my typical routine that I'll want to come back early!  So many questions that I dont, can't, know the answer to yet.

I've always been a little sad that there are so few women where I work.  I always felt like some of us young-uns could really benefit from a powerful, positive, woman-in-the-workforce kind of role model.  While I'm sure still that's true, lately I've been realizing, I've got plenty of role models here already.

See, where I work, the majority of staff falls into the middle-aged-guy bracket.  There are several men that have daughters around my age, some of whom are grandparents already, etc.  While this sometimes leads me to feel I'm being spoken to like a child, it far more often means I feel I'm being spoken to like a child of THEIRS...which is totally different.

It has been so fun to have some of these men sharing their own fatherhood stories, from the delivery room to grandchildren.  They joke about how their bellies are about the same size as mine ("I think you've got me beat now!" one said with a laugh, once I hit about month seven).  And to have them asking me questions about Addy: if her nursery is ready, is Tim excited, if I think I'll be making it to the office the following morning, etc.  I can tell they're geniunely interested - not just in what I provide for the company, but in my actual life...what happens to me and mine.  It's really nice.

Man, I need this kid to get here - one day I'm super pumped about getting out of work for two months (but who wouldn't be, right?), and the next day I'm reflecting on how much I like working here - I can't handle the roller coaster!

Ready to be a mom?

Uhm...I guess so.  Maybe?

People like to remind me that I only have about a month to go with this whole pregnancy thing. 
"Not much longer now," they'll happily exclaim, as I waddle past.
Really?  I hadn't realized!  Thanks for reminding me!

I know that they're just being nice, making small talk, etc.  I'll wave, or smile, or say something like, "yep, she's almost here!"  I don't share the fact that deep down, I'm pretty terrified.

Me?  a Mom?  There must be some mistake.
Moms are responsible!  They know how to fix everything!  They are channels of endless wisdom!  Me, on the other hand...me?  I still eat sugar cereal!  I don't vacuum our house for months at a time!  I like Spongebob Squarepants!

Deep breath.

In general, the unknown is what scares me.  Doesn't it most people?
I think I'm going to be fine...be a good mom, but I don't know for sure.  I can't.  I've never done this before.  All I can know for sure is that my life is about to change drastically, and that everyone I know says it will be for the better.  I'll be keeping that thought in my head for the next month, until I get to find out for myself.

I know I shouldn't be so worried about it.  I'll adapt to our new life, I'll be just fine.

Now that I think about it...sugar cereal and Spongebob?  I'm going to be the coolest mom on the planet.

Thoughts on Pregnancy: Months 1-3

I had a plan for how this would go.

I knew that if Tim and I were blessed with the opportunity to be biological parents, I would do my absolute best in caring for that little blessing right from day one.
I would eat only organic, hormone-free grass-fed meat, extra fruit and vegetables...just really load on the vitamins and minerals that our little one would need for superb development.  No sugar, limited grains and dairy...I would be the picture of health, and this kid would be in all AP classes, starting in pre-school.

I found out I was expecting at right around 6 weeks. 
We were pregnant! 
We were going to be parents! 
I was...going to be...sick.

My very well intended 'plan for superb development' got scrapped...I traded it in for what I would now call my 'plan for basic survival'.  As I ran for the bathroom for the 7th time in a day, I would think to myself, well kid, you're going to have to rely on genetics now...let's hope you get the best of each of our brains. 

The only thing that would stay down was carbs.  Most grains and one or two types of fruit.
My meal-plan looked like this.

• Breakfast: dry cereal
• Lunch: a peanut butter sandwich
• Dinner: didn't really matter.  I don't think a dinner stayed down for 3 months
• Snacks: maybe a 1/2 cup of watermelon, maybe some saltines or pretzels

Tim has been amazing during the whole pregnancy, but those first few months he achieved superhero status in my book.  My main job was making sure the couch didn't blow away (turns out I'm really good at it).  Tim did all the laundry, dishes, absolutely EVERYTHING.  He is so great and has done an excellent job taking care of me.  Love, love, love.

I hated feeling so useless...but now that I think about it, Tim should have been thanking me for helping him brush up on his time management skills.  See, I AM contributing!

Ready.

In a split-second, my entire outlook shifted.  One night, it hit me.  I wanted to be a parent.  I wanted to be a parent...right now.

This may seem like a fairly reasonable thought to most.  I'm 27, Tim and I have been married for 6 years, he's less than a year away from graduating from his PhD program, we're financially responsible and stable...all that.  Everything made sense.  Everything except my opinions on being a parent...which up until this split-second moment had been going in the complete opposite direction.

I thought that I may never want to have children.  I thought of all the fun things Tim and I could do in the near future with our time and money otherwise.  All the exotic, romantic, sightseeing-filled vacations we could take.  The absolute freedom from any responsibility.  The eventual retirement fund, growing bigger every day, ready to prop us up in luxury during our last years.


During my more sentimental moments (these usually came after hanging out with friends who have adorable children of their own, or seeing a Gerber commercial on TV) I thought that having kids might not be so bad.  But, I thought, we should probably adopt all our children.  After all, I would think to myself, what right did I have to fill this world up with sticky, miniature versions of myself, when so many kids are being born into rotten situations every day?  When there are full orphanages overseas, not to mention all the children in our own neighborhoods being carted off from one foster home to another?

I'd been told that, for medical reasons, having our own biological children might not be an option.  I have PCOS, and multiple doctors told me over the years that to even have a successful thought about pregnancy, I would probably need various medications, and possibly other, more intense, methods of medical intervention.  I'm not really one for unnecessary medical interventions of any kind.  I am the girl who will refuse allergy medication until I'm reduced a mouth-breathing, Kleenex-hoarding, absolute mess...and even then I might not take them.  The thought of all the meds, procedures, operations, etc. did not appeal to me in the slightest.

Plus... letting some little creature live inside you for 9 months?  giving birth?  breastfeeding?   EEEWWW!

So, I'd been on one of either the NEVER or ADOPTION bandwagons for quite some time.  I think that's why Tim almost had a heart attack the night I burst out with, "I want to have a baby."
"Uh, like our own baby?"
Just think, I said, we can try for a while, and if it doesn't work then we'll have saved enough money in the meantime for the adoption! 

Poor guy, he never saw it coming.  I think he's still not quite over the shock.

Then again...I'm not sure I am either.

Why Not?

I first thought of starting a blog when we found out we were going to be parents.  We think it will be the best way to keep everyone updated on how our little family is progressing, sharing pictures, etc.

If some random venting or foodie posts sneak their way in, so be it.